"I love but never loved"

I was trapped and can't seem to move
I am choked and I'm out of words
I can laugh but can't seemed to smile
I am lost and he's the reason why

I love but was never loved back
I asked because I don't understand, why?
Is loving someone a choice?
or should I ask, why can't he love me back?

I did bad moves and dumb decisions
'cuz I want to show him how I created my vision
With me and him, together we can reckon
The adversities of life though it was just my assumption

Surely, loving him was never my option
I was stung by the poison of love
My heart swelled and can barely take a move
As if I'm half dead, every time he takes a motion

I don't know how it all started
Holding on to something
and someone 'til the end
When I know in the first place it's not gonna happen.

I just feel like, whatever it is
I should not be ridiculed and judged 
Yes, keeping this feeling is dreadful
But I'm sure enjoying this ride to an uncertain destination